Love - A Glamorous Trap
Author: Afsha Bamne
"Yesterday when we looked at each other while crossing
the street, he whispered "beautiful" and gave that million dollars
smile! Awww.. The way he looks at me, his eyes convey that he has fallen for me...
I am going to tell my friends about him, they'll all get jealous...."
Many girls in their tender age go through these kinds of situations and feelings. It usually begins when puberty approaches and the heart seems to get easily attracted to the opposite gender as it is something which is being advertised and thus encouraged in our society through T.V, internet, magazines, posters etc. The "Thought clouds" starts appearing and everything else starts getting blurred. The mirror becomes a more frequently visited now. Concentration becomes something she "had" and parents become an obstacle between the girl and her fantasies..!! *sigh*
In the age group of 12 to 17, being the most vulnerable age, many girls fall prey to guys disguised as their "fairy-tale-prince-charming", who in reality are merely behind them for the sake of having fun... NOTHING else!!!
There is this mentality that at such young age of girls, it’s inappropriate to talk to them about "all these stuffs". But today's generation has proved this mentality absolutely wrong!!! Actually, this is the age when she REALLY needs a “mature person” to hold her hands and guide her to the path of righteousness, NOT after PEER PRESSURE has ALREADY done its work! "Peer Pressure" It DOES exist!! I am a witness. Shortly descripted, peer pressure is something which insists you on doing the WRONG thing the RIGHT way. A person thinks what he/she is doing is "alright" just because everyone else does it; never realizing that you are wrong or even sinning. What I want to say is, the preventive solution to all these matters is one word -COMMUNICATE!!
A'isha (r.a) said, "A Bedouin came to the Prophet, (may Allah's peace and
blessings be upon him) and asked, "Do you kiss your children? We do not
kiss them." The Prophet (May Allah's peace and blessings be upon him)
said, "Can I put mercy in your hearts after Allah has removed it from
them?" ( Sahih Bukhari )
In the above hadith, "kiss" does not imply mere kissing your children but it means to have an unbreakable bond with them. To be attached with them in a way such that they never hesitate to share their major and minor thoughts with you. Honestly, it’s not only parents who require doing this; we are enough grownup as pious sisters and brothers Alhamdulillah, to keep a check on our younger siblings’ behavior and activities. And no wonder , we should have lots and lots of cherished communication with them!!
On a personal basis I feel when a teen girl doesn't get this "special treatment" by her parents and siblings, she steps on to other alternatives where she easily gets attention and few kind and sweet words (that's all she desires), but then finally ends up being hurt. And this leaves a scar on her heart for lifetime. And her life can become even worse if she gets used to it! Trust me, she is NOT to be blamed, it’s US!!
Think about it. Start looking after your younger sisters at their young age. Make them aware of the malpractices prevailing in the society. Tell them that there exist wolves wearing coats of soft fur which would attract them and ultimately hurt them. Inform and instruct them with regards to their mahram and non-mahram. And just not tell them, but show them what's right through your actions, be an example to them. Listen to what they have to share.. Gift them cute stuff (key chains.. they cost you nothing). And most importantly, shower your love on them!!! This will Insha Allah prevent them from being misguided in their future life. "If you want her to stay away from Shaitaan.. Bring her closer to Allah (swt)".
May Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'aala) guide us all to the right path.
Many girls in their tender age go through these kinds of situations and feelings. It usually begins when puberty approaches and the heart seems to get easily attracted to the opposite gender as it is something which is being advertised and thus encouraged in our society through T.V, internet, magazines, posters etc. The "Thought clouds" starts appearing and everything else starts getting blurred. The mirror becomes a more frequently visited now. Concentration becomes something she "had" and parents become an obstacle between the girl and her fantasies..!! *sigh*
In the age group of 12 to 17, being the most vulnerable age, many girls fall prey to guys disguised as their "fairy-tale-prince-charming", who in reality are merely behind them for the sake of having fun... NOTHING else!!!
There is this mentality that at such young age of girls, it’s inappropriate to talk to them about "all these stuffs". But today's generation has proved this mentality absolutely wrong!!! Actually, this is the age when she REALLY needs a “mature person” to hold her hands and guide her to the path of righteousness, NOT after PEER PRESSURE has ALREADY done its work! "Peer Pressure" It DOES exist!! I am a witness. Shortly descripted, peer pressure is something which insists you on doing the WRONG thing the RIGHT way. A person thinks what he/she is doing is "alright" just because everyone else does it; never realizing that you are wrong or even sinning. What I want to say is, the preventive solution to all these matters is one word -COMMUNICATE!!
In the above hadith, "kiss" does not imply mere kissing your children but it means to have an unbreakable bond with them. To be attached with them in a way such that they never hesitate to share their major and minor thoughts with you. Honestly, it’s not only parents who require doing this; we are enough grownup as pious sisters and brothers Alhamdulillah, to keep a check on our younger siblings’ behavior and activities. And no wonder , we should have lots and lots of cherished communication with them!!
On a personal basis I feel when a teen girl doesn't get this "special treatment" by her parents and siblings, she steps on to other alternatives where she easily gets attention and few kind and sweet words (that's all she desires), but then finally ends up being hurt. And this leaves a scar on her heart for lifetime. And her life can become even worse if she gets used to it! Trust me, she is NOT to be blamed, it’s US!!
Think about it. Start looking after your younger sisters at their young age. Make them aware of the malpractices prevailing in the society. Tell them that there exist wolves wearing coats of soft fur which would attract them and ultimately hurt them. Inform and instruct them with regards to their mahram and non-mahram. And just not tell them, but show them what's right through your actions, be an example to them. Listen to what they have to share.. Gift them cute stuff (key chains.. they cost you nothing). And most importantly, shower your love on them!!! This will Insha Allah prevent them from being misguided in their future life. "If you want her to stay away from Shaitaan.. Bring her closer to Allah (swt)".
May Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta'aala) guide us all to the right path.
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